Two of Pentacles

Today's card is a new one for me: Two of Pentacles. In the card's spirit of FUN I decided to try to include the image here in my blog...it worked!

Now I should do some research on the right and wrong ways to credit the people and places that images and content are stolen from, since what I am doing is using http://learntarot.com/p2.htm.

Maybe for a day when I pull a justice card...

For today, I got to look back (after an evening draw) on JUGGLING things and being FLEXIBLE. Today was the first day of my week-long stint of four hours each day at my "Highest Paid Receptionist" job. Boy is it a juggling act. Incoming calls, my own "work" to try and do from a remote [SLOW!] system, and about a million things going on.

I also spent a lot of time pondering flexibility. Q4 is at an end, and my "project" should be over. As I struggled frantically with my juggling, I began to take seriously the idea of other possibilities. The joker in the picture can change feet, switch sides...maybe he can even flag down that boat in the background and take on a new life entirely.

I think this is poignant when I realize that I was dreading and refusing to consider an option which to me constituted failure: admitting that the team could not complete its work in one quarter. I was encouraged to do this by a fellow team member, and others agreed.

I am not-so-secretly relieved. I have been able to relax as just the 'receptionist' and not be resentful of the role-shift.

I am still worried that I will be held responsible - that it is my "fault" that the team was unable to complete the work. I feel that way because I DID a lot of the work...way more than I would have liked. So I feel that I did indeed fail my team and my company by allowing the project to be delayed. It is reasonable to feel this way. There is so much more I could have done...AND, it would not have been a group effort then. It would have been all-about-me. Not the point at all.

I'm not sure how to move forward with my decision. I feel I have failed, yet the work still has to get done. I do not feel EXTRA pressure to complete it...instead I want to just toss the whole thing.