SF 1st Half Marathon Highlights Part 1: Homeless Commentary

Apparently Marathon Running not only gives me a high, but it also heigh-tens the senses...especially the sense of humor. Here is the first of my many ZANY race observations:

Homeless Commentary
Five minutes after crossing the start line, we jogged past a homeless guy, setting out for his day in the predawn hours. His overloaded shopping cart was an imposing mountain that caused the runner stream to part dangerously like the Red Sea to avoid him. The parallel route he had chosen cut a moving patch of empty asphalt through thousands of hyped racers. Because we were at the back edge of the crowd, we had no trouble jogging slowly by.

"Bedah hurrie, or you neva goina make it," he called out as we passed him on the street. Excuse us?! The nerve! We laughed at the sheer audacity of the comment.

He and the other scavengers of SF's streets definitely had the last laugh that day though. With thousands of affluent racers going by, the entire course was littered with discarded or fallen clothing. Piles of sweatshirts, t-shirts, hats - even warm-up pants in every color, were piled on curbs, dropped in the road, or hung off of convenient roadside benches. It definitely occurred to me that the race is probably an excellent opportunity for increasing the warmth and bedding levels of the city's vagrants.

#2 Down and n2go

San Francisco Marathon - Half 1st Bib: 19929

Name: Yvette Keller
Gender: F
Age: 33
Hometown: San Jose CA

Place Overall: 3796 out of 3858

Women: 2065 out of 2114

F 30-39: 732 out of 743

AgeGrade: 31.64%

Place: 3812

FINISH: 3:26:37
pace: 15:46
7.4 Miles: 2:02:19
pace: 16:32

Chip Time:
3:26:37

Gun Time:
3:48:19

Success Stories

I was a "guest speaker" in a weight loss group this week. In preparation for that, and in order to promote my "success story" workshop, I tried to create story cards for a few success stories of my own. I wrote to my health coach about what a wracking emotional experience it was. At some deep level I remain very sad and "fat" emotionally. I can only hope that as my inner-world is slimmer, healthier and more "fit" it will catch up to my "new" body:

I wanted to tell you that putting together the Success Stories was an incredible experience, but not quite what I expected. I started with a bunch of random event and before / after pics that I liked / felt were representative of my life pre & post weight loss. Then I just looked for themes.

When I envisioned / tweaked the content for the class, I imagined that the pictures might be just generic before - and - after, or some event, etc. As I put mine together though, finding the "story" behind the photos was a very emotional experience. I found myself gulping back tears, and finally letting go with some deep sobs a few times.

I could remember what it felt like to be the little girl who hated Mr. Messineo, the phys Ed teacher. I remember coming in from runs last, or taking "short cuts" on runs around the school, and being labeled "cheater." I remembered how humilitating it was to get on that rollercoaster ride at LegoLand, and have hips too bit to "fit."

There's a lot of things there still "healing" and still in-process...all of which makes offering the opportunity to others that much more important. AND, I understand why I may not get very many people taking me up on that offer - which is just fine too. Those that are ready will "connect" with me as the time is right for them.

Somehow we all have to revise our images of ourselves as competent and successful weight managers in order to continue BEING that every day. When faced with the alternatives, my mocha shake doesn't seem like a deprivation - it DOES feel like a balanced compromise. Getting out and doing my PA still "hurts," but I FEEL how much it is a part of the person I want to be as opposed to the person I don't ever want to be again.

When I teach a class (I'm sure, just like you guys) I do my best to walk-the-walk so that I can always teach from the heart. My heart is in this, so I know that eventually I will be successful in helping others. The other thing I feel though, I have to admit, is doubt. I mean who am I to "teach" anything? What is there in my experience that is in any way "special?"

The answer is: NOTHING. I'm just like millions of other people, struggling with the same stuff. That makes the message almost more compelling, ironically. I have a little extra bravery / brashness, a little extra public-speaking training, and a will to "do good" in the world. Those things allow me to "share" what works for me in the hopes it might help someone else at some point.

Likin' the Horoscope - Ease Day 3

You have a chance today to align your will power with your desires for a healthier lifestyle, including diet, hygiene, and exercise programs. This isn't about quick fixes, though. It's about powerful and sweeping changes that can take some time to have their full effect. Don't worry about what may lie ahead. For now, go ahead and push yourself through whatever resistance you face.
Thursday, July 13, 2006

"A Chance today...." That sounds VERY promising. I will have to stay awake to do that, which might be tough after such a restless night. Late to bed, awoken at 1am by...?...houseguest arriving sometime before 2, and the alarm went off at 5:55. Ouch.

Off to get some highly-caff tea....
Yvette

A peek of how others see

The small exchange below is a wonderful dialog between me and one of my "costuming" friends. We are meeting for a Regency event Sunday. It took me several minutes before I understood her reply; Once I did, I was so tickled by this example of how she made connections: How she thinks! I *love* stuff like that!


ME to V
More options
Jul 11 (1 day ago)

V,

Mr. B is in "wait and see" mode. FYI, if we do meet there, SF has some road closures on Sundays, so check the GBACG website for information on which roads will be open / where to park. I'm pretty sure I can convince Mr. B to come - especially if we bring a change of clothes and rollerblades in the car!

*hugs*
Y

V to ME
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Jul 11 (1 day ago)

Y,

that is one of the things I absolutely love about you two as a couple!!!
time travellers!!!

V

Astrology - Easeful Day 2

From my Google Horoscope:

Hidden feelings may have power over you today and it might be tough to understand what's going on -- until you look within. But this may take a real commitment now, for you must get beyond the surface noise and into your deep inner workings. Meditation or even just relaxation can be the best way to uncover what you need to know.

Hmmmm. Relaxation....what a nice idea. Ease...another great one. Alerady the ideas I had for being easefull each day are slipping away into the wells of well-meaning. Do things we learn seep into our psyche? Do they help us later? How do we practice them to the extent that they become default and push aside less desirable behaviors?

Easeful Day 1

I'm so bored today it is completely stressing me out. I have little tasks - in fact a LOT of boring, administrative, catch-up tasks I'm unmotivated to do. No big projects to fit them in around...to make me feel busy.

As a result I'm feeling very exhausted - not "tired" exactly, but more like I could simply fall asleep without a moment's notice. In response, I frantically started organizing the piles on my desk: What is THIS? What is THAT? What am I forgetting? What is pending? Whatwhatwhatwhat....

I'm sure it doesn't help that last night my cockatoo work up in the middle of the night twice...and then again this morning about a half-hour before the alarm was going to go off anyway. Not good sleep, as I was prowling my full moonlit house at 2am looking for trouble.

Is there an animal in the yard making noise? Did we leave the garage door open? (The light in the garage was, in fact, on). Is it that moonbeam lancing through the slight curtain gap; slicing through his peaceful birdie-sleep? Is it just his raging teenage birdie hormones, and the fact that he has not been out to run amok as often as he'd like lately? The experince of being covered with a towel and placed back in his cage when he decides he won't go in voluntarily? Perhaps the cage cleaning and fresh-box? Not enough birdie food? Water? Too much sweet yellow corn? The fact that I left the travel cage out in the room for him to ponder / get used to? A lack of something in his diet? Too much of something in his diet? What on earth gives him those horrible, screaching birdie nightmares...? I wish he could talk (like me).

Instead of simply fighting the sleepiness with frantic busywork, I decided to write. I'm trying to "trust my tools" and manage my sense of well-being by doing the things that center and ground me when I feel off-kilter. Writing is so grounding...even boring, plain, ungrammatical, writing of no interest whatsoever to anyone but me...is relaxing...beautiful...useful....productive...because I'm ferreting out my own thoughts and feelings and morphing them into words, words, words....

Words allow me to try and discover why I want to get some BREAD or SWEET and munch, munch, munch. That impulse is solidly about worry and boredom and what if: What if I'm this bored because there is nothing to do and I am going to lose my job? What if I HAVE to do the things I don't like? What if, whatif...

I started a book last night recommended by some friends. It is interesting, but I'm not "caught up" yet. Tarot cards are a central theme / plot element and make me wonder whether I should try to go back to doing my card pull each day. I SO enjoyed it...but stopped - probably because I can't let it be "okay" that I don't write about each card each day. I despise and disown "sporadic," and yet, that word describes me to a "T." As my Nohari Window Validates:

Arena (known to self and others) intolerant, insecure, needy, chaotic	Blind Spot (known only to others) inflexible, selfish, unhappy, cynical, irrational, distant, boastful, impatient, panicky, insensitive, smug, overdramatic, inattentive
Façade (known only to self) loud, callous	Unknown (known to nobody) incompetent, timid, cowardly, violent, aloof, glum, stupid, simple, irresponsible, vulgar, lethargic, withdrawn, hostile, unhelpful, unimaginative, inane, brash, cruel, ignorant, childish, blasé, imperceptive, weak, embarrassed, vacuous, unethical, self-satisfied, passive, rash, dispassionate, dull, predictable, unreliable, cold, foolish, humourless

Dominant Traits

55% of people agree that YvetteK is intolerant
55% of people think that YvetteK is inflexible
55% of people agree that YvetteK is chaotic
66% of people think that YvetteK is overdramatic

All Percentages

incompetent (0%) intolerant (55%) inflexible (55%) timid (0%) cowardly (0%) violent (0%) aloof (0%) glum (0%) stupid (0%) simple (0%) insecure (11%) irresponsible (0%) vulgar (0%) lethargic (0%) withdrawn (0%) hostile (0%) selfish (33%) unhappy (11%) unhelpful (0%) cynical (33%) needy (44%) unimaginative (0%) inane (0%) brash (0%) cruel (0%) ignorant (0%) irrational (11%) distant (11%) childish (0%) boastful (11%) blasé (0%) imperceptive (0%) chaotic (55%) impatient (44%) weak (0%) embarrassed (0%) loud (0%) vacuous (0%) panicky (22%) unethical (0%) insensitive (33%) self-satisfied (0%) passive (0%) smug (11%) rash (0%) dispassionate (0%) overdramatic (66%) dull (0%) predictable (0%) callous (0%) inattentive (11%) unreliable (0%) cold (0%) foolish (0%) humourless (0%)

Created by the Nohari Window on 11.7.2006, using data from 9 respondents.
You can make your own Nohari Window, or view YvetteK's full data.