Success Stories

I was a "guest speaker" in a weight loss group this week. In preparation for that, and in order to promote my "success story" workshop, I tried to create story cards for a few success stories of my own. I wrote to my health coach about what a wracking emotional experience it was. At some deep level I remain very sad and "fat" emotionally. I can only hope that as my inner-world is slimmer, healthier and more "fit" it will catch up to my "new" body:

I wanted to tell you that putting together the Success Stories was an incredible experience, but not quite what I expected. I started with a bunch of random event and before / after pics that I liked / felt were representative of my life pre & post weight loss. Then I just looked for themes.

When I envisioned / tweaked the content for the class, I imagined that the pictures might be just generic before - and - after, or some event, etc. As I put mine together though, finding the "story" behind the photos was a very emotional experience. I found myself gulping back tears, and finally letting go with some deep sobs a few times.

I could remember what it felt like to be the little girl who hated Mr. Messineo, the phys Ed teacher. I remember coming in from runs last, or taking "short cuts" on runs around the school, and being labeled "cheater." I remembered how humilitating it was to get on that rollercoaster ride at LegoLand, and have hips too bit to "fit."

There's a lot of things there still "healing" and still in-process...all of which makes offering the opportunity to others that much more important. AND, I understand why I may not get very many people taking me up on that offer - which is just fine too. Those that are ready will "connect" with me as the time is right for them.

Somehow we all have to revise our images of ourselves as competent and successful weight managers in order to continue BEING that every day. When faced with the alternatives, my mocha shake doesn't seem like a deprivation - it DOES feel like a balanced compromise. Getting out and doing my PA still "hurts," but I FEEL how much it is a part of the person I want to be as opposed to the person I don't ever want to be again.

When I teach a class (I'm sure, just like you guys) I do my best to walk-the-walk so that I can always teach from the heart. My heart is in this, so I know that eventually I will be successful in helping others. The other thing I feel though, I have to admit, is doubt. I mean who am I to "teach" anything? What is there in my experience that is in any way "special?"

The answer is: NOTHING. I'm just like millions of other people, struggling with the same stuff. That makes the message almost more compelling, ironically. I have a little extra bravery / brashness, a little extra public-speaking training, and a will to "do good" in the world. Those things allow me to "share" what works for me in the hopes it might help someone else at some point.