Sometimes, life takes a little while to sink in.

My husband has been back to working each day, in an office, outside our home, for over a year and a half. It sucks.

See, when we relocated to glorious Santa Barbara five years ago, we both worked from home. We were office mates, lunch buddies, and spent every day together. For three years. It was AWESOME.

But I was worried I wouldn't meet new people, or make any friends, so I joined Meetup.com, and went out to be social most evenings. Now my schedule generally follows that initial pattern. Most evenings I have extra-curriculars...and I hate it. I have turned Me into a flake, because I schedule and then don't go to things. I make excuses about being tired, needing to stay home and cook dinner, or blame it on the dog (who clearly needs a walk with BOTH me and my husband).

But that's not the real story. Thanks to my dreaming mind, I finally understand that I'm extremely resentful of my own tendency to schedule being away from home most evenings.

Like most married people who work, evenings are now the prime hubby-time. We have to talk, laugh, play games, and get things done during evenings and weekends. And if I'm not home, I get no time with him. And I feel disconnected and sad.

So if I have a New Year's Resolution, it is to drag my husband out with me every night.

Psych! No, that's not it. It is actually to try to find balance between home-social and world-social.

As an extrovert, I get plenty of "alone time" (WTF is that?!?) all day as I work alone. But my husband still needs his alone-time on evenings and weekends, and sometimes we disagree about how much he needs. Well. Sometimes how much he needs feels personal, though it isn't. Working on that too, always and forever. 

So I have to maintain some level of world-social, because that translates to his alone-time. And, of course, I don't want to blow off all of the cool friends I have made, give up the exciting groups I'm in, and miss out on the joyful adventures I have become accustomed to.

What's the answer? 

It's going to blow your mind.

Meal Planning.

Seriously. Yup.

Wait, what does the fact that I don't like anything about cooking have to do with this?

Not liking cooking, I suck at it. Prep, doing, clean up, every part of cooking is awful...except the eating. 

Going out in the evenings often involves yummy dinners out. But eating out contributes to less healthy food, portion challenges, and weight gain. As does being sad and eating emotions.

So sitting down each week to plan meals and inform the grocery-shopper (hubby) what is needed, is also a perfect time to plan how many nights will be in versus out.  Deciding who cooks what when, also informs whether ins and outs, social and solo, activity and rest are in balance. 

So there it is: my case for how and why meal planning is the 2016 resolution that will help me put my social calendar back in balance.

Wish me luck!

The Bare Bones of Gift Giving

Pics of the housewarming gifts for my ortho surgeon friend, gamer buddy, neighbor and proud new home owner.

I have been a lot sad as thoughtful gifts have been coming my way recently. 

I feel like I haven't been doing my normal, seeing-the-perfect-thing and buying it, all the year 'round; which has been my practice in the past. 

I realize the reason is threefold: 

One, I'm grieving. Sad and tired still, as six months have disappeared in a blur since my father's death.

Two, my strolling and shopping has been greatly reduced by my lack of tolerance for crowds of people and strangers, courtesy of the sads.

Three, when I have bought or created things, they have been for me, as an attempt at escapism (to forget for awhile), or consolation (to make myself feel better).

So for all my wonderful, amazing friends out there who haven't received cards or gifts or letters or trinkets this year: I am here. I still love you. 

Soon I will be back to finding gifts like these: fun, funny, perfectly (in)appropriate little things that remind me of you; how much I love you, miss you and carry you in my heart at all times.