Cockatoo Blues...
Happy (ACKAACKAACKAACKA) Halloween. Today I am NOT loving owning a cockatoo. Yesterday, I got nipped (REALLY, REALLY big bird) and today he just wants to SCREAM all day. Completely bizarre.
So now he is covered - to give me 10 minutes of quiet and writing time...and he's peeking out from around the cage cover. Saying "Hello," being cute and lovable. Do you think animals KNOW how much they are toying with our emotions?!?!
Birds are especially hard (per my husband) because they have no "mammal" body-language. I can tell that Jeremy is getting ancier and ancier, but I never know if he's just gotta go to the bathroom, of if I should be preparing to call for an Emergency-room visit. Unpredicatable.
So why put up with it? Well, it HAS to be better than a kid. I mean, I can put him in a cage and cover it without Cockatoo Protective Services showing up at my doorstep. Ideally I would be a better parent, with clearer rules and a better understanding of acceptable behavior (which does not include screaming your head off, thank you!)...but I'm not even sure I know the steps to take between here and there....
Sort of like life. The small steps that lead us from place to place and decision to decision can either be well-lit signposts in our native language, or thugs in the dark with baseball bats. Nice. And no clear way of knowing which is which.
I need to go study up on my Tarot for readings tonight. Happy All Hallows, World. Thank you, ancestors.
Yvette
Monday, October 31, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
Jamesthecuteitguy
At every company in Silicon Valley there's one I.T. professional who counters the stereotype of unclean, unkempt little geek who never sees daylight and prefers computers to people. Finding Jamesthecuteitguy can make your tenure at any job supercalifragilisticexpialidocius.
This "other" I.T. guy is the one you want to find right away when you start at any new company. He smells good - like laundry soap. A generational match, he is sexy and interesting to talk to. Casual, but has a style, and wears hats on bad hair days so that no one will ever know.
You are almost glad when there's a problem with your computer, or you get to report that the network is down again. Let's face it: Being Cute makes him easy to forgive when your machine crashes. If you're lucky, maybe you'll have something in common with him, like an alma mater or a favorite author. You enjoy talking to him while he "drives" your computer because he is also 30 something and in the same business you are - the business of solving problems.
Even when your tiny computer glitches are annoying to him, he doesn't let you know. When you whine a little, because lets face it, technology can really suck, he forgives. He gives you his full attention in the moment he looks up from that computer, and he's never far from a joke or a smile. When your little secret slips out and he realizes you've been calling him "Jamesthecuteitguy" behind his back, he doesn't bat an eye.
Imagining your company without him is a very sad picture, but all of a sudden, you have to see it. And as you look, you begin to understand why the big pizza lunch going away party. It becomes obvious when James' final e-mail goes out - cheery and positive with a message just for you - that every person in your entire company feels that way. Two week's of favorite restaurants and gifts don't make his leaving any easier because James' relationship with everyone in your company is like the photo mosaic he keeps in his cubicle.
He is Jamesthegolfingitguy for Andrew, and Jamesthelifeguarditguy for Mary, and Jamesthesocceritguy for Sam. He gives everyone a high level of attention and service, and shares a small piece of who he is with EVERYONE - the piece that each person can best relate to. But each employee of the company is standing with you - just a little bit too close, focused on his role as their own, personal, I.T. professional, to see the final image.
He is someone you won't be able to find all that often; someone who is very special to absolutely everyone. G'bye, James! I'll miss you (a lot). And not just because you were cute. Best of Luck!
At every company in Silicon Valley there's one I.T. professional who counters the stereotype of unclean, unkempt little geek who never sees daylight and prefers computers to people. Finding Jamesthecuteitguy can make your tenure at any job supercalifragilisticexpialidocius.
This "other" I.T. guy is the one you want to find right away when you start at any new company. He smells good - like laundry soap. A generational match, he is sexy and interesting to talk to. Casual, but has a style, and wears hats on bad hair days so that no one will ever know.
You are almost glad when there's a problem with your computer, or you get to report that the network is down again. Let's face it: Being Cute makes him easy to forgive when your machine crashes. If you're lucky, maybe you'll have something in common with him, like an alma mater or a favorite author. You enjoy talking to him while he "drives" your computer because he is also 30 something and in the same business you are - the business of solving problems.
Even when your tiny computer glitches are annoying to him, he doesn't let you know. When you whine a little, because lets face it, technology can really suck, he forgives. He gives you his full attention in the moment he looks up from that computer, and he's never far from a joke or a smile. When your little secret slips out and he realizes you've been calling him "Jamesthecuteitguy" behind his back, he doesn't bat an eye.
Imagining your company without him is a very sad picture, but all of a sudden, you have to see it. And as you look, you begin to understand why the big pizza lunch going away party. It becomes obvious when James' final e-mail goes out - cheery and positive with a message just for you - that every person in your entire company feels that way. Two week's of favorite restaurants and gifts don't make his leaving any easier because James' relationship with everyone in your company is like the photo mosaic he keeps in his cubicle.
He is Jamesthegolfingitguy for Andrew, and Jamesthelifeguarditguy for Mary, and Jamesthesocceritguy for Sam. He gives everyone a high level of attention and service, and shares a small piece of who he is with EVERYONE - the piece that each person can best relate to. But each employee of the company is standing with you - just a little bit too close, focused on his role as their own, personal, I.T. professional, to see the final image.
He is someone you won't be able to find all that often; someone who is very special to absolutely everyone. G'bye, James! I'll miss you (a lot). And not just because you were cute. Best of Luck!
Waiting for The End...
...of a long day. I learned the terminology for a "referential check" today. I LOVE Geeks who answer my questions! I should be more ashamed about the fact that I hate looking things up, but I just do.
I'm going into space as soon as they get that spaceship you can talk to all rigged out. I am Sigourney Weaver's character in Galaxy Quest - all verbal, all the time. I don't know specifically how that relates to writing, except that I can hear it all spilling out of my head onto the page. That is probably why I use about 25% more commas than I need to - I can HEAR them, so IN THEY GO!
The comma stacks make my husband NUTS, but other than that he's a fantastic editor. WAY better than I am at figuring out that the reason the sentence doesn't sound quite right has to do with the fact that it has 16 words in it and no subject, and no verb. Go figure.
Makes me wonder why I would want a job using more of my writing skills - I'd be so rusty and out of practice. But let's face it, we're all rusty and out of practice at something. All we have to do is be reminded of the steps, the rules...it is all about the refresher course. and writing - even writing drivel like this is somehow FUN for me. Effortless. Like HUGS! Not many other things are truly effortless for me...in fact it is a short list:
color matching
eating
free style dancing
planning
brainstorming
seeing
Okay that last one is a given unless you're blind, but I think I ran out of steam and wasn't going to include "hearing" and "touching" and other senses.
In fact, lo0oking back at the list, "eating" is a COMPLETE LIE for this exact moment. I'm back in my weight loss program (keeping off 70 pounds - Woo-Hoo!), heading for another 12 lb loss and eating = angst. Decision Anxiety (do I do the right thing or not?), and Third Option Thinking (this is kind of like staying on program because it won't be SO bad), and Positive Self Talk (Good for you! You avoided the Halloween Candy Successfully, despite having to sit with it in front of you, and watch a half-dozen other people walk away with yummy M&Ms and Candy Bars...) are my way of life. NOT effortless at all.
So far this blog is pretty effortless. And hey, it definitely takes the place of "lonely" and "want to eat" in the short term (though I actually am getting hungry now). I worry though. What if someone I know reads this? What if no one I know reads this? What if I want to say mean things about people? Would a prospective employer find me here and think "What a nutcase! No way we're hiring her!" I hear terrbile stories of stupid people blogging about their torrid sex lives, including names...and then their Girlfriend or Husband or Lover #16 reads it, and well, their secret is out and lots of people are hurt.
Sometimes I want to hurt people; Rarely do I let my little vindictive self have her way. I think that is called "Being An Adult."
So why blog? (Cell minutes expensive?) I want to express myself about nothing. And everything. I think ALL THE TIME. No, not true. Maybe true? Let's call it true.
People I know get very weird when I actually have "free" conversations because my brain (like a lot of people I know) jumps freely from association to association. I'm not thinking all the time about solving things, or making the world a better place...but I do have a constant sense of the flow of my own thoughts, and awareness of everyday things that spark other impulses in my mind...a constant web of hyper lightpoints jumping and moving: thoughts.
I know some people whose brains actually get a rest, but when I'm conscious, I'm thinking all kinds of stuff. My husband teases me about having "No Internal Dialog" but I don't think that is true. Sometimes I am more "prepared" than other times. It is more like having thought filters that need to be changed. Without the filters (which is a state I hope everyone in the whole world finds a time and place to be in), yeah, flow baby, flow...
With the filters, I can keep names out of this blog. I can teach and present to large audiences. I can be witty and make polite dinner conversation with Very Important People. I can work, and be an overpaid receptionist. How are those filters created? Whether or not you have them and which ones you have and how they match or miss the filters of others determines so much about your status and class in the social world. So how do you get them? What are they made out of? (The opacity of experience woven together?)
Now I really am hungry...
...of a long day. I learned the terminology for a "referential check" today. I LOVE Geeks who answer my questions! I should be more ashamed about the fact that I hate looking things up, but I just do.
I'm going into space as soon as they get that spaceship you can talk to all rigged out. I am Sigourney Weaver's character in Galaxy Quest - all verbal, all the time. I don't know specifically how that relates to writing, except that I can hear it all spilling out of my head onto the page. That is probably why I use about 25% more commas than I need to - I can HEAR them, so IN THEY GO!
The comma stacks make my husband NUTS, but other than that he's a fantastic editor. WAY better than I am at figuring out that the reason the sentence doesn't sound quite right has to do with the fact that it has 16 words in it and no subject, and no verb. Go figure.
Makes me wonder why I would want a job using more of my writing skills - I'd be so rusty and out of practice. But let's face it, we're all rusty and out of practice at something. All we have to do is be reminded of the steps, the rules...it is all about the refresher course. and writing - even writing drivel like this is somehow FUN for me. Effortless. Like HUGS! Not many other things are truly effortless for me...in fact it is a short list:
color matching
eating
free style dancing
planning
brainstorming
seeing
Okay that last one is a given unless you're blind, but I think I ran out of steam and wasn't going to include "hearing" and "touching" and other senses.
In fact, lo0oking back at the list, "eating" is a COMPLETE LIE for this exact moment. I'm back in my weight loss program (keeping off 70 pounds - Woo-Hoo!), heading for another 12 lb loss and eating = angst. Decision Anxiety (do I do the right thing or not?), and Third Option Thinking (this is kind of like staying on program because it won't be SO bad), and Positive Self Talk (Good for you! You avoided the Halloween Candy Successfully, despite having to sit with it in front of you, and watch a half-dozen other people walk away with yummy M&Ms and Candy Bars...) are my way of life. NOT effortless at all.
So far this blog is pretty effortless. And hey, it definitely takes the place of "lonely" and "want to eat" in the short term (though I actually am getting hungry now). I worry though. What if someone I know reads this? What if no one I know reads this? What if I want to say mean things about people? Would a prospective employer find me here and think "What a nutcase! No way we're hiring her!" I hear terrbile stories of stupid people blogging about their torrid sex lives, including names...and then their Girlfriend or Husband or Lover #16 reads it, and well, their secret is out and lots of people are hurt.
Sometimes I want to hurt people; Rarely do I let my little vindictive self have her way. I think that is called "Being An Adult."
So why blog? (Cell minutes expensive?) I want to express myself about nothing. And everything. I think ALL THE TIME. No, not true. Maybe true? Let's call it true.
People I know get very weird when I actually have "free" conversations because my brain (like a lot of people I know) jumps freely from association to association. I'm not thinking all the time about solving things, or making the world a better place...but I do have a constant sense of the flow of my own thoughts, and awareness of everyday things that spark other impulses in my mind...a constant web of hyper lightpoints jumping and moving: thoughts.
I know some people whose brains actually get a rest, but when I'm conscious, I'm thinking all kinds of stuff. My husband teases me about having "No Internal Dialog" but I don't think that is true. Sometimes I am more "prepared" than other times. It is more like having thought filters that need to be changed. Without the filters (which is a state I hope everyone in the whole world finds a time and place to be in), yeah, flow baby, flow...
With the filters, I can keep names out of this blog. I can teach and present to large audiences. I can be witty and make polite dinner conversation with Very Important People. I can work, and be an overpaid receptionist. How are those filters created? Whether or not you have them and which ones you have and how they match or miss the filters of others determines so much about your status and class in the social world. So how do you get them? What are they made out of? (The opacity of experience woven together?)
Now I really am hungry...
Abortion
It occurred to me after the fact (I am in fact not in the fields of marketing nor medicine) that I should have googled "Aspiration Machine" BEFORE choosing it. Turns out, the most common ways those two words are joined has nothing to do with cranking out fabulous dreams and taking deep breaths.
No, those words are linked primarily to abortion, liposuction and a few arcane mechanical tooling sites. Ah well, I can roll with that.
I usually read, or sit and play Solitare or Bejeweled during the 30 minutes, 2 days a week (at least) when I have to be the Front Desk receptionist. There are times when covering the front desk just seems so ludicrous. Mostly because the idea of a degree-toting professional like me paging people and directing customer calls seems like a terrible waste of money. And cramp in my workday flow.
But honestly - I love answering phones. i love the POWER of the switchboard. I love the fact that I am actually helping our customers get the information they need. It is the little things. On the other hand, this keyboard sucks, the phone and areas always feel slightly scummy and "used" in a way that my own personal (dusty and dingy) cubicle doesn't. What is that sense...the sense of someone else's space.
It is fundamentally how you know you are a "professional." The illusion of "owned" space, inviolate and infused with your own being is a nice one to have. And you get to choose when you want to pee too. not just during the alloted 15 minutes per shift...
It occurred to me after the fact (I am in fact not in the fields of marketing nor medicine) that I should have googled "Aspiration Machine" BEFORE choosing it. Turns out, the most common ways those two words are joined has nothing to do with cranking out fabulous dreams and taking deep breaths.
No, those words are linked primarily to abortion, liposuction and a few arcane mechanical tooling sites. Ah well, I can roll with that.
I usually read, or sit and play Solitare or Bejeweled during the 30 minutes, 2 days a week (at least) when I have to be the Front Desk receptionist. There are times when covering the front desk just seems so ludicrous. Mostly because the idea of a degree-toting professional like me paging people and directing customer calls seems like a terrible waste of money. And cramp in my workday flow.
But honestly - I love answering phones. i love the POWER of the switchboard. I love the fact that I am actually helping our customers get the information they need. It is the little things. On the other hand, this keyboard sucks, the phone and areas always feel slightly scummy and "used" in a way that my own personal (dusty and dingy) cubicle doesn't. What is that sense...the sense of someone else's space.
It is fundamentally how you know you are a "professional." The illusion of "owned" space, inviolate and infused with your own being is a nice one to have. And you get to choose when you want to pee too. not just during the alloted 15 minutes per shift...
Titles??
It occurs to me that only the first time I entered a post was I offered a "Title" prompt. One of the things I like about the one blog I read is the titles. Sometimes they give a hint about what the post will be about and sometimes they are just a line from a song the blogger happens to be listening to at the moment.
In any case, if I had been given a title option (Where there's a Wil...), this post would be called: Data Insecurity.
I wanted to explore how very insecure I am right now about some data I'm compiling for my job. I'm a trained (well, I have a degree anyway) social scientist (Oh, one of those), and I have some skills at analyzing, sorting and drawing conclusions from data at hand.
I just hit that bump where you look at your conclusion and think, "Ha! I *knew* that would be the answer..." and then the vindication fades as you realize that you alone have been handling the data - turning it over, checking the angles, interpreting it...and coming to your own foregone conclusions.
If you are truly interested in TRUTH, perhaps, like me, you suddenly have a moment of trepidation: "Is that the answer, or did I just CREATE that answer...?"
So I've spent approximately 8 hours of my work life with this stuff, and I'm suddenly wondering if maybe I shouldn't put some of the individual data points to a vote. Get together with my team and instead of reviewing my work (as planned), do the work as a group. There is a lot more potential for objectivity there. And potential for conflict. And potential for spinning wheels...
On the other hand, I don't really think that if my conclusion was universally accepted as the word of a God within my company that anyone would go out of their way anytime soon to try to fix the problem. So I'm safe either way. Makes me question why I have bothered to do this work in the first place...no, not really. The answer to that is: There are Problems. Fixing them will make the company better and people's jobs better. Easy answer. I think I'll put this to the team and bow out of any individual responsiblity for the data interpretation.
"Chicken"
"Am NOT!"
It occurs to me that only the first time I entered a post was I offered a "Title" prompt. One of the things I like about the one blog I read is the titles. Sometimes they give a hint about what the post will be about and sometimes they are just a line from a song the blogger happens to be listening to at the moment.
In any case, if I had been given a title option (Where there's a Wil...), this post would be called: Data Insecurity.
I wanted to explore how very insecure I am right now about some data I'm compiling for my job. I'm a trained (well, I have a degree anyway) social scientist (Oh, one of those), and I have some skills at analyzing, sorting and drawing conclusions from data at hand.
I just hit that bump where you look at your conclusion and think, "Ha! I *knew* that would be the answer..." and then the vindication fades as you realize that you alone have been handling the data - turning it over, checking the angles, interpreting it...and coming to your own foregone conclusions.
If you are truly interested in TRUTH, perhaps, like me, you suddenly have a moment of trepidation: "Is that the answer, or did I just CREATE that answer...?"
So I've spent approximately 8 hours of my work life with this stuff, and I'm suddenly wondering if maybe I shouldn't put some of the individual data points to a vote. Get together with my team and instead of reviewing my work (as planned), do the work as a group. There is a lot more potential for objectivity there. And potential for conflict. And potential for spinning wheels...
On the other hand, I don't really think that if my conclusion was universally accepted as the word of a God within my company that anyone would go out of their way anytime soon to try to fix the problem. So I'm safe either way. Makes me question why I have bothered to do this work in the first place...no, not really. The answer to that is: There are Problems. Fixing them will make the company better and people's jobs better. Easy answer. I think I'll put this to the team and bow out of any individual responsiblity for the data interpretation.
"Chicken"
"Am NOT!"
Hah! I feel that moment of complete, relieved horror. The one you get simultaneously with the surge of adrenaline from the instant you thought you had one more step to go, were falling down the stairs, but it turns out you're on the ground and nothing bad has happened. Just like that.
I. Have. A. Blog. (mineminemineminemine!)
I gotta go tell my husband!
I. Have. A. Blog. (mineminemineminemine!)
I gotta go tell my husband!
Aspiration Machine
Merriam-Webster Main Entry: as·pi·ra·tion
Function: noun
1 : a : audible breath that accompanies or comprises a speech sound
b : the pronunciation or addition of an aspiration; also : the symbol of an aspiration
2 : a drawing of something in, out, up, or through by or as if by suction: as a : the act of breathing and especially of breathing in
b : the withdrawal of fluid or tissue from the body
3 a : a strong desire to achieve something high or great b : an object of such desire
It is Front Desk Time, and the highest paid receptionist in Silicon Valley (me) is trying to decide why a blog might be a good idea.
Aspiration Machine
That's what it is right? A place to help me stop each day and breathe (and write).
A place to suck in new ideas (and write about them).
A place to withdraw the negative thoughts, comments, attitudes... and allow myself to be the happy-go-lucky, cheerleader by nature that I might actually be (and write about that).
But mostly, it is a place for my aspirations - objects of desire- to be examined, built, and perhaps to become reality. After all, I kind of like to write...
Function: noun
1 : a : audible breath that accompanies or comprises a speech sound
b : the pronunciation or addition of an aspiration; also : the symbol of an aspiration
2 : a drawing of something in, out, up, or through by or as if by suction: as a : the act of breathing and especially of breathing in
b : the withdrawal of fluid or tissue from the body
3 a : a strong desire to achieve something high or great b : an object of such desire
It is Front Desk Time, and the highest paid receptionist in Silicon Valley (me) is trying to decide why a blog might be a good idea.
Aspiration Machine
That's what it is right? A place to help me stop each day and breathe (and write).
A place to suck in new ideas (and write about them).
A place to withdraw the negative thoughts, comments, attitudes... and allow myself to be the happy-go-lucky, cheerleader by nature that I might actually be (and write about that).
But mostly, it is a place for my aspirations - objects of desire- to be examined, built, and perhaps to become reality. After all, I kind of like to write...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)