Below is the complete version of "NaNoWriMo for the Midlife Crisis" with the graphics laid out correctly. Written for and first published in Issue 151 of Science Fiction/San Francisco April 2014.
NaNoWriMo for the Midlife Crisis
My “midlife crisis” 40th
year culminated with the decision to write a novel.
I wrote 50,453 words in
30 days, and at the end of the experience, I not only felt good, I described
myself as rejuvenated, proud, and a better person.
So when comparing the stereotypical
midlife crisis (sports cars, infidelity) to mine (writing every day for a month),
I’m going to go for all-out pompous and say:
“My Way is Better.”
These days it’s hard to know
when to have your midlife crisis. I don’t know if I’ll live to be 50, like my
maternal grandmother; 80, like my paternal grandmother; or if I will surpass
them both and make it to centenarian. Like most other appointments in my life,
at 40 I was either late or early to the midlife crisis game, depending on which
way you were betting.
Early, late, or punctual, it
was a shock to find myself 40 years old.
It felt like other people’s
lives were ending and I was anxious about where mine was going. And, while some might say I was two years
early, “What is the meaning of Life the Universe, and Everything,” came up on a regular basis.
Because of the number of transitions
I was going through, I allowed life at 40 to “catch up” with me in a new way.
The devastation of hoping to
visit a cousin, but learning via Facebook that she had died days before didn’t fade
away quickly. Owning my own business seemed like a bet I was riding the rest of
my life on. Yoga twice a week could not re-mold my middle aged, pudgy midriff.
Crying a lot after attending what felt like a barrage of funerals didn’t
release me back to my old self.
Big things needed to happen.
I dyed my hair purple.
I trained physically to ride
my bicycle 545 miles in 7 days, from SF to LA.
But it wasn’t enough to do
things to ride out the crisis, or just to get all introspective ‘n shit…I
decided to write it out.
I was inspired by a convention
panel at Westercon 66 to try National
Novel Writing Month: NaNoWriMo for short…NaNo for even shorter. The convention
I attended was in July, weeks after my bicycle trip through California. After
listening to the panel of writers discuss how productive they were in just one
month, I decided I would do NaNoWriMo…some year when I had a story idea.
Not having an idea didn’t
stop me from wanting the recommended text, so thanks to hotel WiFi and The
Power of The Internets, before I left the panel I had already downloaded a copy
of No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty. Baty was one of the founding “WriMos.” Just so that you don’t get lost,
a WriMo is someone who participates in NaNo. All the words have to be very
short because anyone participating will have to say them at least 5 times a
day.
No
Plot? No Problem! is an
inspiring and funny read. It includes
the history behind how and why Baty and friends began the noveling craze in
1999, but more importantly it contains crucial guidance about why you will have
to explain NaNo so often.
Yes, part of belonging to the
group of 437,920 people around the world who participate is having a secret set
of code words no one else understands. WriMo doing NaNo is a fun way to
identify those IN and OUT of the community.
Code words are also great
for making people ask, “Rye-What? Nan-Who?” And you get to tell them: “I’m
writing a novel this month – Want to hear about it?”
You might be surprised by
how many people say YES.
And how much fun it is to
tell your whole world you’re doing something crazy.
That is a big part of Baty’s
theory of writing a novel: it should be FUN.
I really got behind content like, “No matter what your talent level, novel
writing is a low-stress, high-rewards hobby.” And took it to heart when Baty
said, “To really…understand the books you love…it helps to write one yourself.”
In July I thought, “some
year when I have a story idea.”
The story idea showed up in
September.
With Baty’s book in my Kindle
app, I embraced the fact that I had only the very vaguest idea. I wanted to
write about a character my age, dealing with some of what I had dealt with, but
also tackling WAY more. I thought that would make me feel much better about the
numerous big and small crises during my 40th year. I thought writing
might soothe my anxiety when I found myself asking, “What does it all
mean?”
Noveling was a clear way to
let my “why” and “what now” questions really sink in instead of ignoring them.
When a character and an idea presented themselves, I decided I could
“fictionally” answer my questions by sitting down and participating in
NaNoWriMo. I wrote a novel that included all of my chaos by giving it away: I
gave the questions to a character…then suddenly, two different characters. I
came up with an imagined scenario, a setting, and added themes that I was
struggling with.
Instead of getting into a
fancy new car or cheating on my husband, I wrote an average of 1,681 words per
day.
I learned all about
“pantsing” – writing by the seat of your pants. At first, I did not believe it
was possible to write when you have nothing to write about. SPOILER ALERT: You CAN
write tens of thousands of great, fun, words with absolutely no idea where
you’re going.
Writing can be as fun as a
game of free-association. Just shout “PANTS!” to yourself, and write whatever
comes next. What pants do you like? How about pants your character likes? Hates?
What pants would she wear out on a Saturday night date? Any word, any phrase
can become a starting place for MORE WORDS. And that is all NaNo is: WORDS.
Only 1,667 a day will get
you to 50,000 total, if you want to ‘Win.’
And No One Ever Reads Them.
They PROMISE.
The idea was so freeing! The
words were JUST FOR ME!
I started my novel with an
idea and a list of 10 things that I thought might be in the book. That didn’t
get me very far. The rest was pantsing. During NaNo it is not just acceptable
to write words freely and freely and freely (and even repeat them, if you run
out of ideas), it is ENCOURAGED! And ENCOURAGED is in caps because no WriMo is
alone. There is a website. There is online support and regional, topical,
neighborhood, local, genre…groups of all kinds. Groups of people writing like
crazy, with 437,920 reasons to be doing it.
I met two or three times a
week with a core of 3-4 other writers. We all sat around my house, staring at
our laptops and listening to each other type. We didn’t speak much. Sometimes we wore
headphones. We typed into what was no longer fearful, anticipatory, I CAN NEVER
BE GOOD ENOUGH silence. That soft sound of keys popping up and down became one
of the most comforting noises I know. It became a symbol of the fact that I do
not struggle alone to find the words…we all do it alone, together.
In addition to the in-person
fun and side effects of communal tea, cheese, and cookies, I became a NaNo
twitter feed addict. That sounds bad, but seriously, for a creative writer, it
is heaven. WriMos getting together on twitter to “Word Sprint” on outlandish
prompts, taking advantage of the affinity with 437,920 people who participate.
Never done a word sprint, here’s an example:
GO!
And then you can post how
many words you got written in that 5, 10, 20, 30, 60 minutes. You can be
encouraged by the range of words, typing skills, and creative successes flowing
across the Twitters. Writing becomes a collective sport. And when you are
assimilated into the collective it feels GREAT.
Support for WriMos is
fantastic. Live web videos, hangouts, and chats. A staff member available to
answer questions and respond to crises, either fictional or reality based. Regional
leaders who help people get together for competitive “Write-Offs,” or just to
facilitate supportive discussions on how everyone is doing. There is cheering.
A LOT of cheering.
But the most fun element of
NaNo for me was experiencing characters doing their own thing. There was a
moment when I was writing as fast and furiously as I could and realized all I
was doing was trying to catch up. My characters had left the building. They had
an agenda they didn’t bother to share with me, and they walked off and did the
most incredible things.
I had been told, but I did
not believe until about one week into writing, my main character suddenly
chewed out someone who had come to help her. WHOA! Instead of a guide into
uncharted territory, that character now had nothing. And she did that to
herself. I would never have been so mean – I sent the guide in the first place
- but the character couldn’t accept it. The tension went up a notch, the stakes
were raised, and all I could do as an author was say, “Well, if that’s how you
want it to be…” and keep on following her.
Noveling became an effort in
trailing my character like a private detective, seeing what she saw, listening
to what she said, and interpreting how she felt without being seen myself. It
was an unbelievable journey for me to suddenly be so immersed in my own
imagination that it took control.
The way to arrive at the
ultimate creative high that I am describing for you is to “…leave your Inner
Editor here with me at the fully licensed, board-certified No Plot? No Problem! Inner
Editor Kennel,” according to Baty. Seems easy enough, but as one of the
fantastic Westercon 66 panelists had pointed out way back in July, it can take
20,000 or 30,000 words before that critic on your shoulder will Just. Fuck. Off.
Instead of cursing at a part
of yourself, you can learn in a supportive environment how to kennel your
editor during NaNoWriMo. And the skill you need for sending your critic on a
long vacation will be critical in the throes of a midlife crisis. Because
really it’s that critic who is behind all the angst of whatever “big decade” birthday
you are facing.
So I mean it when I say
participating in National Novel Writing Month will make you a better person. It
can help you gracefully through a midlife crisis. You should practice sending
that inner editor out for a long succession of three martini lunches. Because
while you are plagued with a critic, it is impossible to live your life. That
editor wants to know, “Where are we going next?” “How are we getting there?”
and “What the hell do you think you are doing?”
But with encouragement like,
“There’s a book in you that only you can write,” Baty - and every person who
has ever been a part of NaNoWriMo - will help you with whatever comes. During
and after your NaNo experience you will learn to tell yourself with confidence,
in as many words as it takes, “I have no idea what will happen - and that’s
okay, because in life, having no plot is no problem. I just show up and the
words will come.”
Without a Summer by Mary Robinette Kowal
