NaNoWriMo for the Midlife Crisis

Below is the complete version of "NaNoWriMo for the Midlife Crisis" with the graphics laid out correctly. Written for and first published in Issue 151 of Science Fiction/San Francisco April 2014.

NaNoWriMo for the Midlife Crisis

My “midlife crisis” 40^th year culminated with the decision to write a novel.

I wrote 50,453 words in 30 days, and at the end of the experience, I not only felt good, I described myself as rejuvenated, proud, and a better person.

So when comparing the stereotypical midlife crisis (sports cars, infidelity) to mine (writing every day for a month), I’m going to go for all-out pompous and say:

“My Way is Better.”

These days it’s hard to know when to have your midlife crisis. I don’t know if I’ll live to be 50, like my maternal grandmother; 80, like my paternal grandmother; or if I will surpass them both and make it to centenarian. Like most other appointments in my life, at 40 I was either late or early to the midlife crisis game, depending on which way you were betting.

Early, late, or punctual, it was a shock to find myself 40 years old.

It felt like other people’s lives were ending and I was anxious about where mine was going.  And, while some might say I was two years early, “What is the meaning of Life the Universe, and Everything,” came up on a regular basis.

Because of the number of transitions I was going through, I allowed life at 40 to “catch up” with me in a new way.

The devastation of hoping to visit a cousin, but learning via Facebook that she had died days before didn’t fade away quickly. Owning my own business seemed like a bet I was riding the rest of my life on. Yoga twice a week could not re-mold my middle aged, pudgy midriff. Crying a lot after attending what felt like a barrage of funerals didn’t release me back to my old self.

Big things needed to happen.

I dyed my hair purple.

I trained physically to ride my bicycle 545 miles in 7 days, from SF to LA.

I raised over $8500.00 for AIDS Lifecycle.

But it wasn’t enough to do things to ride out the crisis, or just to get all introspective ‘n shit…I decided to write it out.

I was inspired by a convention panel at Westercon 66 to try National Novel Writing Month: NaNoWriMo for short…NaNo for even shorter. The convention I attended was in July, weeks after my bicycle trip through California. After listening to the panel of writers discuss how productive they were in just one month, I decided I would do NaNoWriMo…some year when I had a story idea.

Not having an idea didn’t stop me from wanting the recommended text, so thanks to hotel WiFi and The Power of The Internets, before I left the panel I had already downloaded a copy of No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty. Baty was one of the founding “WriMos.” Just so that you don’t get lost, a WriMo is someone who participates in NaNo. All the words have to be very short because anyone participating will have to say them at least 5 times a day.

No Plot? No Problem! is an inspiring and funny read.  It includes the history behind how and why Baty and friends began the noveling craze in 1999, but more importantly it contains crucial guidance about why you will have to explain NaNo so often.

Yes, part of belonging to the group of 437,920 people around the world who participate is having a secret set of code words no one else understands. WriMo doing NaNo is a fun way to identify those IN and OUT of the community.

Code words are also great for making people ask, “Rye-What? Nan-Who?” And you get to tell them: “I’m writing a novel this month – Want to hear about it?”

You might be surprised by how many people say YES.

And how much fun it is to tell your whole world you’re doing something crazy.

That is a big part of Baty’s theory of writing a novel: it should be FUN. I really got behind content like, “No matter what your talent level, novel writing is a low-stress, high-rewards hobby.” And took it to heart when Baty said, “To really…understand the books you love…it helps to write one yourself.”

In July I thought, “some year when I have a story idea.”

The story idea showed up in September.

With Baty’s book in my Kindle app, I embraced the fact that I had only the very vaguest idea. I wanted to write about a character my age, dealing with some of what I had dealt with, but also tackling WAY more. I thought that would make me feel much better about the numerous big and small crises during my 40^th year. I thought writing might soothe my anxiety when I found myself asking, “What does it all mean?” 

Noveling was a clear way to let my “why” and “what now” questions really sink in instead of ignoring them. When a character and an idea presented themselves, I decided I could “fictionally” answer my questions by sitting down and participating in NaNoWriMo. I wrote a novel that included all of my chaos by giving it away: I gave the questions to a character…then suddenly, two different characters. I came up with an imagined scenario, a setting, and added themes that I was struggling with. 

Instead of getting into a fancy new car or cheating on my husband, I wrote an average of 1,681 words per day.

I learned all about “pantsing” – writing by the seat of your pants. At first, I did not believe it was possible to write when you have nothing to write about. SPOILER ALERT: You CAN write tens of thousands of great, fun, words with absolutely no idea where you’re going.

Writing can be as fun as a game of free-association. Just shout “PANTS!” to yourself, and write whatever comes next. What pants do you like? How about pants your character likes? Hates? What pants would she wear out on a Saturday night date? Any word, any phrase can become a starting place for MORE WORDS. And that is all NaNo is: WORDS.

Only 1,667 a day will get you to 50,000 total, if you want to ‘Win.’

And No One Ever Reads Them.

They PROMISE.

The idea was so freeing! The words were JUST FOR ME!

I started my novel with an idea and a list of 10 things that I thought might be in the book. That didn’t get me very far. The rest was pantsing. During NaNo it is not just acceptable to write words freely and freely and freely (and even repeat them, if you run out of ideas), it is ENCOURAGED! And ENCOURAGED is in caps because no WriMo is alone. There is a website. There is online support and regional, topical, neighborhood, local, genre…groups of all kinds. Groups of people writing like crazy, with 437,920 reasons to be doing it.

I met two or three times a week with a core of 3-4 other writers. We all sat around my house, staring at our laptops and listening to each other type.  We didn’t speak much. Sometimes we wore headphones. We typed into what was no longer fearful, anticipatory, I CAN NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH silence. That soft sound of keys popping up and down became one of the most comforting noises I know. It became a symbol of the fact that I do not struggle alone to find the words…we all do it alone, together.

In addition to the in-person fun and side effects of communal tea, cheese, and cookies, I became a NaNo twitter feed addict. That sounds bad, but seriously, for a creative writer, it is heaven. WriMos getting together on twitter to “Word Sprint” on outlandish prompts, taking advantage of the affinity with 437,920 people who participate. Never done a word sprint, here’s an example:

GO!

And then you can post how many words you got written in that 5, 10, 20, 30, 60 minutes. You can be encouraged by the range of words, typing skills, and creative successes flowing across the Twitters. Writing becomes a collective sport. And when you are assimilated into the collective it feels GREAT.

Support for WriMos is fantastic. Live web videos, hangouts, and chats. A staff member available to answer questions and respond to crises, either fictional or reality based. Regional leaders who help people get together for competitive “Write-Offs,” or just to facilitate supportive discussions on how everyone is doing. There is cheering. A LOT of cheering.

But the most fun element of NaNo for me was experiencing characters doing their own thing. There was a moment when I was writing as fast and furiously as I could and realized all I was doing was trying to catch up. My characters had left the building. They had an agenda they didn’t bother to share with me, and they walked off and did the most incredible things.

I had been told, but I did not believe until about one week into writing, my main character suddenly chewed out someone who had come to help her. WHOA! Instead of a guide into uncharted territory, that character now had nothing. And she did that to herself. I would never have been so mean – I sent the guide in the first place - but the character couldn’t accept it. The tension went up a notch, the stakes were raised, and all I could do as an author was say, “Well, if that’s how you want it to be…” and keep on following her.

Noveling became an effort in trailing my character like a private detective, seeing what she saw, listening to what she said, and interpreting how she felt without being seen myself. It was an unbelievable journey for me to suddenly be so immersed in my own imagination that it took control.

The way to arrive at the ultimate creative high that I am describing for you is to “…leave your Inner Editor here with me at the fully licensed, board-certified No Plot? No Problem! Inner Editor Kennel,” according to Baty. Seems easy enough, but as one of the fantastic Westercon 66 panelists had pointed out way back in July, it can take 20,000 or 30,000 words before that critic on your shoulder will Just. Fuck. Off.

Instead of cursing at a part of yourself, you can learn in a supportive environment how to kennel your editor during NaNoWriMo. And the skill you need for sending your critic on a long vacation will be critical in the throes of a midlife crisis. Because really it’s that critic who is behind all the angst of whatever “big decade” birthday you are facing.

So I mean it when I say participating in National Novel Writing Month will make you a better person. It can help you gracefully through a midlife crisis. You should practice sending that inner editor out for a long succession of three martini lunches. Because while you are plagued with a critic, it is impossible to live your life. That editor wants to know, “Where are we going next?” “How are we getting there?” and “What the hell do you think you are doing?”

But with encouragement like, “There’s a book in you that only you can write,” Baty - and every person who has ever been a part of NaNoWriMo - will help you with whatever comes. During and after your NaNo experience you will learn to tell yourself with confidence, in as many words as it takes, “I have no idea what will happen - and that’s okay, because in life, having no plot is no problem. I just show up and the words will come.”

Book Review

So there's this 'write everyday' thing that all Real Writers claim is the key to writerdom. I find that I truly enjoy writing book reviews, so here's a link to the one I wrote in the middle of last night, after finishing the next-to-last Jane Austen Mystery Series Novel.

As always, feedback is very welcome - especially whether or not the Review was enjoyable to read in-and-of-itself and whether it would be helpful to you, if you were going to consider reading this book.

(Those are the goals of a book review, right?)

Jane and the Madness of Lord Byron by Stephanie Barron
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This installation of a series beloved to me seems to have less "Jane" and more madness. While I am glad that Jane and Henry get to enjoy each other's company, the other characters, and even the settings of this book, feel less solid than I have come to expect. Perhaps as there is more fiction - fewer of Austen's actual letters to hang the fiction on - I found the descriptions of Brighton, pavilion, rooms, less clear and immersive than previous works. Still, the action led to an interesting plot; As with all mysteries, the blinds and dead ends were enjoyable. Unfortunately, Jane's single minded coherence is lost in the efforts of too many characters, going to too many places, causing a tumbled, unstructured narrative that feels different than Jane writing to herself in her little journal. Despite the more 'active' nature and pace, I was still able to linger over some description. I enjoyed the Master of Ceremonies character who socio-autistically recalls every person, every dance, and every aspect of 'toilet' for every Assembly. Useful in a murder investigation, to be sure. The flirt with Lord Harold's broader tale - then continuation of The Elephant In The Room - was disappointing, and made Mona feel less a 'friend' than a haute ton convenience of plot. Still, I enjoy every one of these novels like canvassing what is new with old friends: this one is just more like tepid coffee with an old friend who is having an off day.


View all my reviews

The Scroll of Years - A Review

The Scroll of Years

A Gaunt and Bone Novel

Having finished The Scroll of Years by Chris Willrich only moments ago, I hereby judge that it is not an average, everyday book. By that I mean it is not about a cast of characters placed in stories and committed to the written word.

Instead, Willrich has written a magical invitation to peruse a series of bound pages where, by happy chance, fantastic figures’ own paths direct them to travel back and forth in this specific vicinity…and they happen to have been captured by a sensitive translator.

My ruling on The Scroll of Years is based on many things, but foremost the structure of the book.  Willrich’s debut novel is comprised of long and short chapters, tales within tales, and shifts in time, location, culture, perspective, and language.  The result is deceptive: the simple exterior of a fantasy softcover hides an interior that is a complex literary work. This book insistently demands that any prospective reader thrust away their grasp of linear tale telling as a prerequisite to jumping into this adventure.

I will not mince words: This is not a book everyone will enjoy. The protagonists travel an entire world of territory, and the stories told are drawn from every major occurrence of a human lifetime. I found it difficult at times to catch up again after putting it down, as if somehow the story had continued to evolve while I wasn’t actively reading it.

To enjoy the work, I suggest that you be a reader who can be dropped without warning or explanation onto the back of a Springfang, into a bottomless pit, or through the portal of scholarly monastic life. This is not a book for any reader requiring reason or exposition. Persistent readers will find some of each inside this novel, but it will be wrapped carefully and carried next to a character’s true heart.

The Scroll of Years is a collection of tales about persons generally meeting the modern definition of “westerners” and “easterners.” The travels and antics of the characters are guides or perhaps crutches, for the reader seeking wisdom about an astonishing range of life experiences. From the book, readers can steal treasures about true growing up, forgiveness, partnership in love, parenting, and even coming to peace with our own flawed selves.

The thrilling cover illustration of high-fantasy artwork, and Willrich’s own description of the novel as “sword and sorcery” does the book an injustice.  I believe it is well beyond what the traditional fantasy novel has provided. The Scroll of Years is more than one rich world-building adventure; it is easily three or perhaps, lucky seven. Characters go beyond the traditional troupe of scout, fighter, thief, wizard, and cleric, to include the avocations of monks, politicians, assassins, poets, mothers, fathers, adolescents, emperors, dragons, walls, ways, ghosts, vampires, accountants, sailors, outcasts, and even a loyal log-chasing dog.

What I enjoyed about the novel was being tossed into a wonderful new way to use language. Willrich has invented novel techniques for dialog and storytelling that derive from opposites. His writing incorporates east and west, man-on-the-street and sage, human and animal, child and adult. I can only describe my reaction toward writing so completely new and different as similar to how I felt reading Gibson’s cyberpunk for the first time. Reading this book is likely to cause a disturbance in your Chi, but channeling will reward the reader tenfold.

What I had to overcome to enjoy the book was the idea that I was picking up a recreational-fantasy drug. This book requires attention, commitment and participation from its readers. If you allow it, this book can teach you more than a little bit about life’s biggest lessons. To the inattentive, I imagine this book is just a muddied flood that will wash over you, scrape you up with pointed words, and carry you away, without ever allowing you to plumb its depths of meaning.